You’re pining for a simpler time, I just know it. I can smell it on you and I know the smell; it’s the same smell that’s all over me. There’s no shame in this smell, so indulge in it, friend.

I’m talking about a time when TV channels actually meant something, when schedules were set and predictable but not stale. A time of USA Network and of Monk. You remember Monk.

There was a little thing that happened a few years ago which brought Adrian Monk and his germ-hating ways back to the fore, back to the front, but maybe you just thought “heh, that’s neat. And at least he’s not singing.”

But I’m here to tell you, he does more than not sing. There’s a whole eight seasons of Monk you could be vegging out on. But am I here to tell you about all eight? Of course not, this is Review Party Dot Com. All I’m allowed to write about it reviews, and that’s why I’m going to semi-spoil season 8 episode 6, Mr. Monk and the Critic.

So it’s an Episode about a Review?

Yeah, yes, duh, that’s the point. I’m trying to illustrate how pervasive reviews our in society and in pop culture, to the extent that plot points of fictional works are intricately arranged around a review.

SO. Here goes. And YES, there will be spoilers, but come on, what am I supposed to talk about if I can’t talk about it?

The episode opens with Monk and his assistant Natalie going to a local theatre to see Natalie’s daughter Julie perform as part of a showcase. Non-spoiler details that are wonderful include Monk asking the woman next to him to switch seats with her father (a ONE-ARMED Veteran in uniform!), so he can “thank him for his service,” AKA so he can have the armrest to himself without touching another person. Daring DARING comedy.

Trouble strikes when Monk has to use the bathroom, but oh my, this bathroom has a genial attendant who appreciates cleanliness almost as much as Monk, and naturally a friendship is struck.

BUT. MEANWHILE. Prominent theatre critic John Hannigan watches the performance and the next day pens a review calling Julie’s performance forgettable. ALSO MEANWHILE, we see a young lady thrown from a hotel balcony TO HER DEATH.

Tensions are high, emotions strained. Natalie is convinced that Hannigan is the killer. Everyone is convinced Natalie just hates him for the review. More danger strikes, more accusations are made, until an ace is pulled.

Monk, along with Natalie, Julie, and the hip police cast, head to the newspaper headquarters where young Julie accuses Hannigan of an attempted assault, of drugging her, etc. Unseemly stuff, to be sure. But the man claims again and again that he doesn’t know her, has never seen her, ETC.

HOW then, you and everyone else now asks, did he write that she was forgettable? Because he SNUCK OUT, had the bathroom attendant take his place in the shadowy theatre box, went to the hotel, killed the girl, and got back in time to be seen as the show ended.

He’s a murderer and his silly review is what did him in. Because obviously Julie was not forgettable. She was great.

Just like Monk. All eight seasons. There’s plenty more that I haven’t spoiled, go watch it.