Be safe out there, listeners, Big Reviewer is always watching. And we're always laughing about it. Please, join us, maybe we can get the FBI guy living in our phones to laugh, too.

Today's topics include dirt cups, pre-blasted Ovaltine, straws, walnuts, hazelnuts, pineapple shells, a cardboard box called "Sobriety", The Little Fruitcake Girl, math majors, Wario's Thighs, Oil Tycoons and Cold Soda, two and ten, extreme chapstick, boomer appeal, lady-type pens, sumo wrestler nappy naps, and evil mans.