You're telling me Kentucky fried this chicken? Like, the whole state? How many hands were on this bird?! If you can't even tell me that with a straight face than you can keep your damn 11 herbs and spices as well, you dead beat!

Today's topics include Diary of  Wimpy Kid Land, loveguitar (one word), an Air Bud prison of man's own creation, tortilla cocoons, soap tasters, dragon balls, Impossible Baby, gross starfish, vibrating butt flaps, chicken dinner at the beach, SPF 10,000, six paragraphs of rage, and a loofa you wear.