In France, its dogs first, and we here at Review Party Dot Com consider ourselves to be inline with that French dog-first sort of thinking, so in honor of that, we motion for sinking ships to put the dogs before the women and children. Us men will still go down with the ship and the band, as long as those precious pooches get their tails on the lifeboats.

Today topics include Captain Underpants, Pure Michigan, woodchips, taking medicine, mother-in-laws, rival slumber parties, mangled masses of bones, bunk beds, and oversized bandages.