Review Party Dot Com: 100 Things
Review Party Dot Com has been around a whole ONE HUNDRED EPISODES! And if you are new to us, new to the show, new to the internet (any and all of the above), then let this commemorative blog post clue you in on some of the time-honored bits, inside jokes, points of history, and just facts about the show that we think make us extra goodgood.
In no particular order, with no particular agenda in mind, here are 100 Things of Review Party Dot Com.
A Real Wow-Earner – The reviews of Nagitokomeda have quickly become the stuff of legend
Nagi is an IMDB reviewer whose lexicon has quickly become a favorite on the show. From wow’s to scrappy earners to finding additional reviews by happenstance, this is one reviewer we won’t soon release
Craig-San and the power of Melon Soda
Speaking of favorite reviewers, the original melon soda bandit, the Yelp Elite and man who knows the value of fast food in Japan, nary a reviewer can touch Craig’s way with words
Matt M of Yelp
AKA The Angry Reviewer, AKA “Yelp is Run by Fools,” AKA Peter Francis Geraci and/or Eagleman, Matt is a LONGtime Yelp Elite, Chicagoland native, and victim of the harshest When Owners Attack ever
Jason T and Peter Francis G
Jason T is the owner of Xpress Tax Appeals AKA Tax Appeal Group, on Yelp. He also has a nasty habit of picking fights with customers who leave bad reviews, going so far as to criticize other reviews Matt M. left, and threaten to publish his personal info. He also reviewed his own business. Classy.
The best spot for a knife fight
The Island Bar and Grill, Libertyville, IL. So-called due to a one star review from GW featured in episode 1
Of Vampires and Vending machines
Episode 5, when things REALLY started to click. An Upon Further Review Segment explored the history of vending machines, which we naturally took to absurd heights
Tomiko Pollard, up front and personal
Honestly, just google her, and you’ll find her. The “full Tomiko” is what Tomiko does with almost every review she leaves. She lists her height, weight, date of birth, that her parents are deceased, and so on and so forth, on EVERY review. Yikes.
Chili Dog G Fuel
Brent and Matt are gamer boys. G Fuel is fuel for them. Pre-recording, they discovered that G Fuel was selling a Sanic Chili Dogs flavored promotional box. Matt bought it, tried it on mic, and still regrets the decision. The canister has remained in his recording space since.
The Three Wolf Moon Shirt, unpacked
The first Me, You, and Meme review conquered, The Mountain’s famous shirt. It’s not something Matt needed, but knowing its internetty impact, it had to be done. It’s a nice shirt, not too out there. Not too hippie, not too weird biker-y. It’s just right. Very easy to purchase, on Amazon or the Mountain’s site.
The Bic for Her Pens, put to Paper
SO difficult to find, because obviously they realized “these shouldn’t be a THING!” Amazon is a no-go. Lots of old listings are out there, but the sites seem janky. In the end, a source was found. They were imported. If you want more details, reach out on our Contact page.
A Gallon of Milk, ON THE INTERNET?!
Once upon a time, there was no pandemic. We didn’t do all our shopping online. Brick and mortar wasn’t crumbling. Waaay back in the early 2000s, even the early 2010s, people found it weird that you could order groceries – milk! – online. So they left reviews. Tracking down milk was not difficult.
The Hutzler Banana Slicer, Skewered
What a glorious waste of plastic. Can it save time? I guess. Do you need it? Probably not. My advice is still to get handy with a knife or a mandolin. That said, the product is sturdy, nice to look at. And I’ve developed countless other uses so that it’s not a waste of space.
Sugar Free Gummy Bears, Devoured
Once you figure out that they’re Albanese, not Haribo, these become easier to find. They DO have a warning on the packaging, but they did not destroy this humble reviewer. They’re good if that’s what you’re into.
How to Avoid Huge Ships? Easily done
This was honestly a pleasant surprise. Sourced through Interlibrary Loan, I read the whole book and found it both informative and entertaining. Sure, the title is silly, but if I’m piloting a boat through shipping lanes, it’s really a matter of life and death. I can unironically recommend this.
Buffalo Wild Wings and Beans, say what?
The internet. The internet and kids. Combine them and you get chaos. That’s what happened to a BWW restaurant unlucky enough to have it’s number posted in a meme-y post, telling others to call them up and ask for beans. Dozens of beans reviews, “unusual activity” according to Yelp. Workers fighting off the harassment. Messy beans.
Going Elite
This is what Matt did, in the hopes that it might help the show. I guess it’s given more content to write about, if nothing else. More to post and brag about. All it took was a few months of dedicated writing of quality reviews. You can do it too!
The Reviews of Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos
Some of our more infamous Celebrity Reviews. Jeff reviewed some books and stuff in the early 2000s, AND Tuscan Dairy Milk, getting in on that old gag. MacKenzie defended Jeff in a review of a book ABOUT him and Amazon. She defended him IN a review of a book ABOUT Amazon, ON Amazon.
The History of Thumbs Up
When did it start, eh? And where? And why? You know about gladiators and emperors, but is what you know the truth? This fine blog post will set you straight on the entire history.
A Short History of Reviews
Speaking of history, where and when did reviews start to emerge? Why are we rating things with stars or scales of 1-10? Well, here’s another excellent blog read.
The Portrait of Mandy Moore
IMDB user a_different_drummer believes that cinema IS time travel. Because Mandy Moore will never look the fresh-face way she did in A Walk to Remember, but LOOK, there she is! Timeless, ageless, flawless. He’s putting the “different” in different drummer.
The ‘View from the Hindenburg
Tragedy, comedy, what’s the difference? I mean, the Hindenburg flew countless flights before the fateful day it went down. And those flights were written about, read about. We featured one such review (a Great Review in History) in episode 17.
Commies Don’t Dig Nostferatu
Another Great Review in History (ep. 70), in which we discover that the review of Nostferatu we’re reading is from the pages of The Daily Worker. And the reds don’t really like Old Nosferatu much.
From the Pages of Peterman
Seinfeld fans that we are, we adore the writing in the J Peterman magazine, as it embodies the very same spirit we love to see in meaningful reviews. This is a treat of a segment.
Erika Hey Sunshine G, and the Fight of the Spirits
Erika is a spirited one. And she knows what a place looks like when it has bad spirits on the rampage. If you are a light healer, reiki master, shaman, guru, medium, or whisperer of any animal, you should probably pass along your references and join her forces.
Yelp Japan
Brent lived in Japan, and now he favors Yelp reviews from the far east. Whether it’s reviews from a Western perspective, or more focused on the oddities of a culture a world away, these are always gems.
Upon Further Review
The ORIGINAL segment, babyyyy! It’s the segment where we look at something we thought we knew, and figure out how little we really did. Inventions mostly, but also forms of punctuation, numbers, and letters. Learn something!
When Owners Attack
The segment where we read owner responses to reviews. It’s lame when it’s cookie cutter copy/paste. But these owners are here to defend their honor (or make total fools out of themselves).
Memento moReview
The segment where we remember the musicians and comedians who have since passed on. And how do we do that? Through the time capsules that are TicketMaster reviews. It’s all in good fun, promise.
Me, You, and Meme Reviews
The big ticket segment, always a two-parter. Week one, we identify the product whose reviews attained meme status, then run through the history and reviews. Week two, we recap, then provide our own real and meme reviews based on actually finding and trying the product.
Celebrity reviews
The segment where we find reviews OF or reviews BY people who are famous. From the Bezos’ Amazon reviews to RateMyProfessor reviews of Matthew McConaughey, they can get weird.
Bare Knuckle Letterboxding
A new segment where we run down the short, sweet, and sassy reviews that we find on Letterboxd, which is a bit more expressive than what you can find on Amazon.
Precious Max
Another new segment in which we grab a WHOLE BUNCH of reviews for one thing, then run them down. Because sometimes ALL the reviews are good. Sometimes you uncover a den of freaks, and you need to read their pre-workout powder reviews (and how it helped them get juicy pumps on their way to a precious max).
Steaming Pile of Reviews
A stalwart Brent segment, featuring the tongue in cheeky reviews from the gamer boys like us who live and breathe and review on Steam games. Always irreverent, always entertaining.
Review Party Recommends
The blog post series (and episode segment one??) in which we talk about things we like, that we think you’ll like. I mean, if you don’t trust our judgement, what are you doing listening to our show, anyway?
Crap App Reviews
The segment where we gather one star reviews on a specific app from the app store. This is a place where young people vent their rage over microtransactions gone wrong, and where boomers yell about censorship.
Reviewer Redux
The segment where we dig up a few more reviews from someone who we fancied in the past. Notables are listed above, but bear mentioning again. Craig S, Nagitokomeda, Matt M, and Erika G. We thank them for their unique voices and continued output.
Great Reviews in History
AKA the segment that requires more research than Upon Further Review, but also one of the most rewarding. We’ve found Hindenburg reviews, clippings about the Titanic. Even a review of the rowdy youths of the early 1900s.
TrustedCaskets.com
So this exists. It’s both a great source of caskets AND a pretty good source of reviews come October. Some doozies here for sure.
Amazon Customer
Nameless, faceless, but leaving their words for all to see. We receive the good graces of Amazon Customer more than any other “reviewer.” But if you’re going to the trouble of writing a review, dang, just fully set up an account!
Other Than That, Mrs. Lincoln
A Great Reviews in History highlight, finding an actual review FROM THE ERA of the play that the Lincolns were seeing the night Abe was shot. Episode… oops, I’ll get back to you…
Getting you something for your reviews!
One of the most prominent series on our blog is the “Compensated Reviews.” You may not necessarily be getting paid to write reviews, but there is always something in it for you BEYOND the general satisfaction you get helping out your fellow shopper/complimenting the seller.
Carthage, Kenosha, the Midwest
The place Brent and Matt met, undecided majors, needing fun times. Meeting in the middle, they brought similarities and differences, and became fast friends. We’re Midwesterners, so if you don’t like us, hey, y’know I guess that’s okay.
Cartoons, Video games, Nineties
Just a few of the things we bonded over and still geek out over. If you understand these things, you understand us and are ONE OF US!
Felicia Day
A celebrity we can count on for a good review, because in addition to being an actor, author, and nerd legend, Felicia is also VERY active on Goodreads. Nerds, take a knee.
Elijah and Marcie
Review Party super fans, constant contributors, and real life good people. If an episode in influenced by either in any way, it’s a good one. For a good taste, check out eps 53-54.
The gobbaloons
An Upon Further Review instant classic: the true origins of Little Orphan Annie, (which is much darker than the musical). Included in the original poem is a constant warning against goblins, or as an late 19th century Hoosier might call them, “gobbaloons.” Check ep 94 (and behind every door).
Goodreads Gone Wild
Goodreads is owned by Amazon. It’s another site featuring books and reviews. But dang, do Goodreads reviews go hard. With formatting for days, GIFs, labels for who suggested a book, who the book is good for, and custom shelves to organize your reads, it is clear that things are different. Check out the blog for more info.
Erik, Friend of Comedy
Matt can be awkward. So, when referring to a submission from friend Erik (whom he met doing improv), Matt called him a friend of improv as well as the show. Now Erik is plainly a friend of comedy. He has ascended. And we thank him for his gifts. (we thank his fiancé Jen as well!)
Seinfeld, Star Wars, and Literary Classics
The things these dumb boys get too excited about. Whether it’s The Nip, the Sarlacc Pit, or the Pit and the Pendulum, we can take a tangent on a full day trip and still leave plenty left unsaid. We’re fanboys.
Bucket hats, beers, and the details of our lives
Stuff we hate in other podcasts, so we ridicule. We don’t think we’re important, we think the comedy is. And we think what makes the comedy is actually having a point to our show. It’s a loose point, sure, but we’re not just “two best buds who talk about whatever comes up” who also drink, because we’re so wild/unapologetic. And video podcasts? Details of our weeks? That ain’t why you’re here.
Craigslist and the boys of the Unfinished Business Podcast
Some friends we made along the way, regrettably their show has sailed into the sunset. These boys plundered the rich depths of Craiglist for their internet podcast content, and for that, we respected them. We swapped content a few times (ep 32 and more).
CampaignHer
Matt’s favorite cousin. This is her podcast. It actually might help people in their lives. Go check out her website and show. Linked in the about us section.
Hospo Bimbo
Cassie has worked in hospitality long enough to spot a one star review in the making. Her show is all about her perspective on the hospo industry, what it’s like on the other side of the “pay at the register” eateries we all love so much. Finely produced, with an appreciation for coffee, classic music, and diner culture, it’s a big recommend.
The Review Queens
We are and always will be the only podcast that reviews internet reviews. But- well, these guys do it too, and they do it so well. Polish and production value abounds. Very formatted and organized, this show is nice and different from our chaos, so you can like them too, and we won’t even get mad.
Impolite Society
If you want to learn something BOYS, and ladies, this is a show for you. Risky, bold, fierce and fearless, Impolite Society asks and answers the dirty and distasteful questions that pop up in all of our minds from time to time. They deserve your ears, and you deserve their honesty.
Improv, Merely Players, This way of living
Brent and Matt have bonded over many things, but there is an undeniable bond in their shared experience on stage. Trust, vulnerability, all that jazz, yeah, they’ve got it. They’ve been through the ringer together and know what it takes to make the fun and make the funny. Merely Players once and forever, they say yes and to whatever rolls their way. That’s why the show is the way it is, why every review is a surprise to the other host. Comedy, baby.
Freaks
These are the people who leave the weird, the sick, the scary reviews. Those who share what shouldn’t be shared, who leave pictures of what should remain unseen, who buy the products no one should want. Freaks. We’re all a little freaky, but these ones are beyond compare.
Feral Wolf Children
Usually children of freaks, but not always. Wild kids who destroy toys within minutes, who throw tantrums at restaurants, who strip their clothes and their inhibitions and proceed to devour raw meat. The “wild child” in the worst possible way. We see them often.
Bad Parents/Angsty Teens
“They just don’t understand.” This may be true for a lot of parents and or teens. It’s a struggle to connect. But Amazon is not the place to air your grievances or to drag your child’s name through the dirt. It’s not the place to complain about your parents, because chances are, they bought the thing you’re reviewing. Your jokes don’t land, because being a bad parent or crummy kid isn’t as funny as it is sad. But hey, we can make it funny.
I Hate My Wife/My Wife Loves This
This could apply to husbands, too. Or boyfriends and girlfriends. But golly. Your significant other doesn’t need to be a part of your personality. I suppose it’s truthful for you to say “my wife loved it, so it’s good by me,” but the little bit of commentary is kind of unsettling.
The Cess pool, the Cess pit, the Unceasing Muck
This is where freaks and feral children live, where they spawn, where all the sickest, nastiest reviews are found. In a nutshell, it’s the internet, but not the places you surf each day. It’s the dark side of Amazon, the reviews that Yelp doesn’t recommend. The scary bits.
Romance books: Pure Smut or Chaos in Titles?
We try to find products that aren’t necessarily for US for the show, because then we might be tempted to talk about our own interests a bit too much. That’s where romance novels come in. These are for a particular type of reader, and the reviews always seem to indicate this. But the names of these books, and the cover art, boy, those are what make it really sweet.
Put a stick in it/Things on sticks
It’s how popsicles got made, Jimmy, don’t you know? A stick in a cup of sweet stuff. I know it sounds insane, James, but go find the Upon Further Review, it’s there. And the argument for sticks in everything. It’s always better on a stick.
Bozo Buckets of Celebrity Shame
Reserved for those celebs who have fallen from grace, even if only a little bit. There are degrees to all this. In those early buckets of celebrity shame you’ve got Pee Wee Herman, your raging Christian Bale, then you get to the Mark Wahlburgs, the Mel Gibsons, the MJs, the Cosbys, and the Spaceys. Those buckets are shameful.
Our Guy, Brad Pitt (scandal free since 63)
He’s a hot man, what can we say. If we’re talking about a movie he’s in, we’re probably going to claim him as our own and objectify him. Like any other warm-blooded creature would.
Halloween Spooktaculars
No one else does it, right? It’s one thing to add some spookums in the month of October, but reviews all based around the creepy, the costume-y, the candy-y, and of course, the caskets. It’s a fun time for all, every fall.
Holiday with the Homies
You can’t spell Christmas without Chris, and that’s why we try to have our buddy on for an exclusive holiday guest spot. He’s the deep voice disclaimer at the start of every episode, people. You’ve loved him all along and didn’t even know it.
The Neptune Statue (Virginia Beach, Virginia)
Is the statue naked beneath his rocks, or does he have a loin cloth of bubbles? We could ask the statue, I guess, we are following him on Instagram. Devoutly. As he demands. It’s a cool, huge statue. Look it up.
When We Get on the Road
Ah, when we take the show on the road. That lofty dream. That’s when we’ll visit the best reviewed restaurants we’ve come across, trying the strange things mentioned in reviews. Seeing sights, dropping our own reviews. That’s power.
Whole Lotta Blue
One of our favorite ways to describe our website, after we’ve talked about all its content. It’s our favorite shade of happy summer blue, with some darker hues here and there.
Hidden Secrets of the Site
This is what happens when jokes on the show become reality. Poke around, maybe you’ll find some hidden fun somewhere. As of this writing, there are a whopping TWO hidden pages to find. Maybe more will come, if you eat your vegetables.
The After Party Review
The newsletter that goes out every Tuesday Reviewsday evening, which recaps all the brand new stuff for you to enjoy. It also features the random ramblings that come to Matt’s brain as he compiles the email every Tuesday morning.
Norm, Rodney, Comedy
We’re comedy lovers, which means we know enough to know what’s good in the bad. Norm and Rodney, not exactly the most popular guys, but they knew what they were doing. And so do we, and that’s why we love them.
Review Party Out of Context
Yeah, we don’t just post waveforms from the podcast. Sometimes those waveforms are free for all, out of context audio waveforms, which means more chaos and more questions like “what prompted THAT?” It’s a special treat, not an every week kind of thing.
BILLY ZANE
Like Brad Pitt, we claim Billy Zane’s undeniable handsomeness as our own. We take pride in it and it sustains us. To merely speak of him is to be warmed by his tender brown eyes. Even if he sometimes plays bad guys, or has a full-on bald head, he is the ZANE!
One Star Mondays
Always fresh and ethically sourced. We don’t steal from Reddit, don’t repost, NO. We look for the best of the worst reviews to lighten up your Monday Moods.
Five Star Fridays
Same deal as above, but shocking, surprising, hilarious. The Five Star reviewers are wild, and they might go for a full five for any strange obscure reason, far stranger than that “my girlfriend loves it.” More like a review of the Mississippi River (yes), which reads “it was flowing south.” Now THAT’S five stars!
Sand is a Toy?
According to the Toy Hall of Fame, which inducted it in alongside Risk and the American Girl Doll, YES. Sand is a toy. Which is a little confusing, admittedly. (Ep 74)
Video Podcasting?
Do you really want to SEE us talking? It’s one thing to watch a streamer playing a game or making art or inducing erections. That we understand. But we’re not sure we’re pleasant enough (nor do we have the swanky setups) that’d make video podcasting viable, let alone interesting.
Episode Titles
Fairly meaningless in the grand scope of things. Always taken from a line spoken in that episode. We were once told to remove numbers from the titles, but we feel it just works for us.
MF DOOM Respect
A big Brent segment, following the passing of MF DOOM. Probably a bit more respectful that Memento MoReview, to be honest. This, instead, is a history and a heartfelt tribute. (Ep 31)
GI Joe PSA History
Ep 25, another Brent baddie of a segment all on the history of the classic GI Joe PSA videos that LIVED on YouTube for so long. I won’t spoil the story; it is worth it for you to listen.
Audience Contributions
We do the show to make us laugh, but also all you listeners. So when you send stuff in that YOU think is funny (to reviewpartydotcom@gmail.com), it’s a magical way for you to make your own self laugh. It’s a gift to us and to you, and it’s truly special.
Dumbledore and the Bad Juice
Sometimes things get waaay off the rails, and that’s how you get episodes like old 34 and Dumbledore. Among other things, it features the best retelling of Harry Potter lore EVER. Trust us.
Hemingway and Dynamite
High art is high art. These are just the terms we use to describe such art. Other words fail to capture the essence, the truths, of classics like Napoleon Dynamite and The Sun Also Rises. The slice of life might seem normal, but not in Spain and not on the Plains. Check ep 83 for the fun.
Custom Waveforms
That’s right. No watermarks from little apps that have restrained free versions. Our waveforms are all baked and built in house. Do we always know what we’re doing? Does our stuff have the most polish? No. But it’s our stuff, through and through.
Original Content
We said it already, but it bears repeating. The stuff we bring to this show (aside from what is sent to us) is ALL found by us. Sure, other people write the reviews, but we are digging through the muck to uncover the grossest or the greatest reviews possible. And though we’re inspired by a certain brotherly podcast, the world of reviews is all ours.
The Element of Surprise
It’s that special sauce, the shock we can hear in our co-host’s voice as we read the product name, and especially the review. The freshness keeps it fun, because we’re almost always going to be digging through different piles of muck. But not always.
Varied sources
Amazon, Yelp, Google. Okay, yes, we got those covered easily. But we’ve also hit up IMDB, Goodreads, TripAdvisor, MetaCritic, Steam, RateMyProfessor, GlassDoor, and oh so many more. Since each site has its own set of users, the reviews often have a different angle of point of view, an emphasis on what’s important. That, Jimmy, that gives us variety.
News on Reviews
The blog is chock full of reviews in the news stories. From a grandma being kicked out of a hotel for leaving a bad review, to a woman sending a hand-written review of the jail she spent a night in, to the Federal Trade Commission flexing on wrongdoers, or Thailand threatening to jail a man for his review. Um. They’re all there. Go read.
Jobs in Reviewing
The Ice Cream Reviewer, travel writers and food critics, and XRT’s Regular Guy movie reviewer. Some people figure out how to make a living off of reviewing. Check the blog for their stories.
Consistent Length
Some shows vary wildly with episode length. But not us, no sirree! Apart from our first few episodes, which were a bit short, each episode now runs between 51 and 58 minutes. You are welcome (we hope).
Consistent Release
When we say every Tuesday Reviewsday, we mean it. We have not missed a single one since this little show began. For, again, you’re welcome.
Reviews as Social Media
It’s what they are, even if you don’t realize it. Only you’re sharing with people who aren’t your friends. I mean, for good reason. Consumer solidarity, knowledge sharing and all that. But still. Be careful with what you post in a review, because you can reveal an awful lot about yourself, or your son who just celebrated his 8th birthday at Chuck E. Cheese, who didn’t get the new baseball glove because Dick’s Sporting Goods was out, so now he won’t be able to play catch in the park that’s a nice five minute walk from your house.
When a Review Can Land You in Jail
Yeah, this one bears repeating. It has to do with laws in Thailand which restrict free speech. It’s not great at all. And the guy who left the review was American! And they tried to arrest him! Nuts! Read!
The only podcast that-
Reviews reviews, yes. Is also funny, yes. Is on the internet? Yes. We are truly groundbreaking in so many ways.
Just One Bad Guest
Hey Grocery Gamblers! Hi guys! Hey Pete! Sorry dude. Or actually, sorry listeners. Or actually sorry, Brent. You were right to have concerns. Confused? Let’s just say it was clear Pete didn’t have a full understanding of how we operate. And also he just talked a lot. It’s not in the episode, but when we told him to “tell everyone about your show,” he spent ten minutes chronicling the show’s complete history, instead of the 30 seconds it should’ve taken to say “it’s called this, here’s what it’s about, here’s where to find it.” We regrettably can’t give our stamp of approval on the show either, until they clean up their sound.
Matt’s Cattiness
See above. It doesn’t always come out, but when it does, BOY does it. Usually Brent is more fired up, but if something sets Matt off, watch out.
The Best Name for a Review Based Podcast
What would you prefer? Some unsearchable name like Review that Review? Oh, right, that’s the actual name of the Review Queens’ show. We love you guys, Matt’s cattiness is still engaged, that’s all. Plus, yikes, search engines will catch on fire trying to find that name. But RPDC? Golden, baby!
The Nosebleeds
Wisconsin’s finest punks, who lend their talents to the show in the form of their song Bread for Breakfast. It’s our theme, we love it, we love them. Thanks boys!
