The calm before the nasty is now. The nasty is reviews for carnivals in Las Vegas, lemons that are not so real, tomato sauce (in a can!), some PBS show called Nova, some mobile game called Marvel Snap, coffee shops, and fire made of cardboard. Stay nasty!

CONSUME these reviews about Mortal Kombat via water bottle koozie, copious amounts of minced garlic, balls AND a cup, ol' Normie Macdonald, and a company of noodles.

This episode sucks! It has reviews for ties, springs, music from Cake and Barry White, clothes, smutty novels! That's pretty much all our favorite review topics, but it still sucks!

Still not over the Great Peekaboo-Off of 1974. This week we got brain-rot inducing reviews for children's tablets, Cat in the Hat movie review but make it perverse, a review for an ol' tavern, crappy Minecraft reviews, and then we Zoom off into parts unknown, or at least unseen by the naked eye (when covering said nude eye with one's hand). Party Dot Com!

Great reviews for coffins, Publix, chicken soup, sex help books, “real” cheese, and some bad, bad juice.

I SEE IT.
What will you hear, though? Reviews about ugly little bananas, a Burger King that will stay in Las Vegas, a Hilton Resort, a bunch of movies, and Connect Four! Where!!! I DON'T SEEE!!!! THERE!!!!!!!!!! DIAGONALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a pork pie you son of a gun! And some reviews for security guards, working at A&W, sitness, sleepy sleepy spray, Flyin' f*ckin' Ryan, and Thomas the Tank Engine's monster. Have another hat!

I'm looking at the notes here and for one of the reviewed items Brent penciled in "Ben Afflect movie" so you got that to look forward to. And, topical stuff, Ant Man in the Big Universe! Big staircase monuments, college students on scooters, restaurants featuring Big Boys, and of course titular sausages. Wow, what an episode! Almost as meaty as so many meaty logs stacked on a plate! Dig in!

The peach is fresh, the peach is free, the peach may be fuzzy! These reviews aren't fresh, free, and are so fuzzy. We're talkin' Jessica Simpson pants, we're talkin' granny panties, we're talkin' fudge cookies, we're talkin' Hey Soul Sister, we're talkin' Over the Hedge, all reviews all the time baby 103 XM the REVIEW.

Sometimes fate grabs you by the balls. Sometimes reviews grab you by the funnies, like these reviews for things like Honey Nut Cheerios, mouse books, orc smut, emoji movies, and Hedgehog soundtracks. Face your destiny, listen to this episode.

Listening to this episode, however, is not preventable. It's got reviews about apples, Chris Farley movies, tasers, museums, and shitty costumes. Things do get side-scrolly, be warned (you do not have an option, you must listen).

Tangy BBQ. Sweet and sour. Honey mustard. Hot Mustard. Ranch. Spicy Buffalo. Szechuan. And reviews for fire insurance, exotic dance clubs, and movies about guns and dying and cool stuff, allegedly. Sweet chili.

Air raid sirens ring through the streets of the internet. Bombs dropping? Trolls trolling? Elon Musk said something stupid again? No, these are butt sirens; this dude's butts out! Quick, read these reviews for Ugly Garfield, sushi in San Fran, little (but giga) air pumps, and Gundam.

TAKE NO PRISONERS! THIS WEEK WE GOT REVIEWS FOR PEOPLE NAMED RACHEL, RED BULL, GARFIELD, SEAL TEAM BOOKS, COOL SHIT LIKE THAT! PUT UP YOUR DUKES CAUSE THIS IS ATTACK MODE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The boys get up to no good this week, shedding manly tears over reviews about Queen albums, barbecue recipe books, Goober peanut butter and jelly mix-em-up magoos, New Years but a movie, and a concrete.

Today's topics include martinis, bottles of sparkly, processed jelly, uncomfortable undertones, being quirky, Animorphs, consciousness, an energetic pull, ultimate sportsmanship, and ham.

Today’s topics include sexy Animorphs, slightly longer than normal shorts, the book world, prison stuff, frosty mugs that carry root beer, the spirit of the stairway, a plane beyond five stars, piles of fries, Video Gold Mine, modern trolling and hatred, how we do it, and fictional human interactions.

Today’s topics include always being outside with a banana and a stick, definitely garbage, How-To guides, the slaps of the keys, the face of a strangler, fish bowl drinks, Bocelli, having fun, The Review Game, Thanos’ nipples, and blocks of paint.

Today’s topics include pillars of salt, edible puddy, the intersection of crackers and cheese, the four slivers of a man’s heart, bungalows, popsicles, The Fourth Pleasure, the Peterman Catalog, and hot steamy dragon time.

Today's topics include holding up the moon that is society, ground-penetrating radar, little Mt. Rushmore, time, chaos, jokes, anti-gravity yoga pants, Nicole 666, putting the baja on blast, and baby daddies.